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Today is the first day of the rest of my life that I write an entry in my journal after 3�� weeks after signing up and paying for this site. One of the things I neglected to put when describing myself is that Iapos;m the consummate procrastinator. That, I suppose, is an offshoot of my passive-aggressiveness which I did mention. Consider this my prima facie case in point. I picked today (technically Sat 10/18 though I donapos;t live technically so itapos;s still Fri 10/17 to me) because itapos;s sort of a compromise. I wouldapos;ve liked to have started this about a year ago but mom died (11/3/07) so it wasnapos;t practical. I had a rough summer of sorts which will be one of my topics eventually and well I was still in my ldquo;wait for a good timerdquo; phase. I wanted to start this when I signed up 3�� weeks ago mainly because it was premiere week for my TV shows but that didnapos;t work out. Like I said itapos;s a compromise because itapos;s a little over 2 weeks before the anniversary of my momapos;s death and a little over 2 weeks from the time my sister Ryse died (10/1/08). Tragic? Perhaps. Iapos;ve mourned my mom for the past year and will continue to do so in my own way and I will mourn my sister but after visiting 3 graves a couple weeks ago (my brother-in-law Bill died 6/8/05) I need to shake things up a little. OK so this isnapos;t an earthquake but it is a chance for me to do something a little different than...well....nothing.

I have several reasons for signing up. I really do want to begin a journal, if not to others, than at least to myself. I am not really into the whole handwriting thing so TG (that will be my short version for Thank God) for computers and technology. I enjoy writing and dabbled a bit when I did case management at a local not for profit service agency. One of my ldquo;dreamsrdquo; or ldquo;wishesrdquo; or ldquo;someday maybe(s)rdquo; is to be a writer. With all my others, I sort of kept that in the recesses of my brain and went on with my life. I was sort of hoping that maybe by doing this journal it would spark something to get me on a different path. Weapos;ll see how that goes. I will hopefully be writing about several topics and as I learn how to use this site, cross-posting in communities and if I can keep it up, maybe branch off to ldquo;other thingsrdquo;. Since most of my time is now spent alone watching too much TV, at least one of the reasons I wanted to do this (not necessarily the main reason but a fairly prominent one if I am to be true to myself) is to be a ldquo;TV criticrdquo; of sorts. I love my entertainment and though itapos;s probably not the life most would put in their dating bio it is what it is for me. And hey, there really are TV critics out there writing essays, comments and blogs and I imagine getting paid pretty well so wtf, ya know ndash; who wouldnapos;t want to get paid for that. Or should I say who of us with Type B personalities (the passive, creative types of course) wouldnapos;t want that

So see, I write like 2 paragraphs, read them over because they have to read perfectly, then I lose my momentum and get a small case of writerapos;s bloc in which my brain goes berserk and I canapos;t continue to form a coherent thought or string of thoughts. I guess I have to be OK with that since this is my personal journal and itapos;s just the first entry. Itapos;s not like itapos;s a submission to Time magazine. I definitely donapos;t have the writing chops for that kind of thing anyway.

Iapos;m not sure I can post as much as I wanted to post today anyway since it would keep me up too long and Iapos;m still kind of worn out from my cold and...well....I just really want to lie in bed and watch a movie and then read some of my book. Yes, I truly do love my entertainment. Hopefully I can post quite a bit over the next few days as I have off from work...another topic I will be posting about. Of course I will want to get my sleep, something I havenapos;t been getting as much of as Iapos;d like to or really should. But I really do want to get going with this thing. Iapos;m going to try be as diligent with this as possible and not let it become one of my many ldquo;projectsrdquo; that I begin for a while then just stop for no particular reason. I should be pretty proud of myself for getting this much written and I hope if anyone does happen to read it that it wasnapos;t too boring. I hope future entries will prove to be a little more entertaining. I really donapos;t want to do this all for myself. I kind of need some form of connection and since the chat room I go on (yes, another topic) no longer provides that I at least gotta give something else a shot. Not that I expect a date from a hot guy out of it or anything but a little interaction via comments or whatnot would be a nice change of pace. I know I will have to put forth some effort (I strongly believe in the ldquo;what goes around, comes aroundrdquo; way of living). Iapos;m also going to take a chance and spread this around to my family (uh huh, you guessed right, another topic) though, with everything else that regards them I donapos;t expect much. And if they do choose to read this, for those that think I might get an earful for that comment I can assure you donapos;t know my family. If it counts for anything Iapos;ve learned to just love them without expecting anything. Different stokes for different folks. And yes, I do love my clich�s. They have origins of truth ya know.

Wow, Iapos;m really enjoying this so I hope that means my next entry wonapos;t be another 3 � weeks away. I think this is good enough to start with though so here goes nothing.
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